Wednesday, 13 June 2012

USA Tour Diary Part 3: Blast Yer Desert Out Your Fucking Blow hole

We arrived in Salt Lake City at the record store we were due to play. It was this fucking awesome punk place with skate decks all over the walls and tons of other cool shit.

Utah is pretty much full of religious people. That’s what we got told. The Church of Jesus Christ Latter-day Saints blah blah... aka Mormons. These fairy story believing idiots seem to have quite a control over shit. Anyway, being Scottish we were slightly panicked upon hearing it is extremely hard to drink alcohol, or that the only alcohol you can buy is three-two which to a normal person means 3.2% beer. Anyway we set about trying to enjoy ourselves with the enthusiasm and recklessness that we were accustomed to.

I sat out the back of the record store changing my guitar strings and listening to these punk kids talking about riding freight trains to Oakland. It reminded me of Tim Barry which would prove to be quite strange as we would play with him a week later. It was also pretty awesome to hear these kids talking with the sort of wide-eyed enthusiasm and passion about punk rock, life and everything else that perhaps gets knocked out of you slightly as age kicks in and you become cynical and a bit ungrateful with how awesome shit really is. Sitting thousands of miles from home this really hit home to me.

Anyway, the show went pretty well and everyone seemed fairly stoked on the situation thus far. We went to a bar after we played and had a few drinks. We actually ended up pretty shitfaced and all I remember is some guy from San Francisco shouting loudly and aggressively in that way Americans are ever so good at, another guy who was clearly on drugs and dancing really fucking weird.. like this - and Chris busting open a paint can on the sidewalk.. aahh memories.

We were staying at a guy called Junkyard's place; he was an awesome dude that I think was a barber and he gave Luke a mohawk. Junkyard looked like he should have been around in 50's America or something. Anyway he was cool as fuck. They told me he was called Junkyard cause he usded to always be covered in oil or his hands were always dirty.. who knows.. but yeah he was a good dude.

I slept in the van and woke up pretty freaked out as to where I was. There was a cop car across from the van and that was the first time I really had full blown anxiety over everything that was happening. Its a lot to take in and I wasn't doing too well haha.

In the morning we went to an awesome diner type place for breakfast, it was called blue something, I can't remember but it was definitely one of the better places we got food, everyone was in good spirits and yeah all was well in the world.

We then began what was to be an interesting 24 hours with a drive to Las Vegas...

Las Vegas I thought was fucking horrible but awesome at the same time. We arrived around 5pm so it was still sunny, there was to be a solar eclipse so we sat in the parking lot of the hotel and watched it. Through 4 pairs of sunglasses it looked pretty cool. We then went swimming in the hotel pool which was undoubtedly one of the weirdest things in my life..

"What you do yesterday"
"Oh y'know, went to las vegas, hung out poolside (chris told me this is what Americans say they are doing), played a show then went on a rampage"

So yeah we went to one of those all you can eat buffet things for tea; Americans really take that shit seriously! It was awesome. We then went for a walk about and saw all the tacky shit you see on TV and films. The venue we played was run by a chap called "Cactus" although I'm not certain as to what his mother would call him. It had an incredible jukebox and a sign outside that said "the happiest place in the world".. I was under the impression that Americans don’t really do sarcasm/irony but this place had it down pretty good with that sign.

Anyway the show went pretty well and then "Cactus" got a bit prickly (LOLZ) cause we (Ryan) had snuck some beers in. He made Ryan leave the bar and was threatening to kick his ass. Cue Derrick to go try and calm the situation which is hilarious in its self. Ass kicking averted we departed to go see what this American Blackpool in the desert had to offer...

I can't remember much that happened but here is a highlight:

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